SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

This thread is for Betrayed Spouses to ask questions of Wayward Spouses. Betrayed Spouses are not to answer on this thread.

Anxious avoidant—-

Yikes. I will tell you what it sounds like, he sought you for the release of the "tension". And yes, I understand the disgust. My husband had unprotected sex during the day with her and at night with me

He hasn't been able to give me a clear answer there still, and it's either bc it's something along these lines or he genuinely didn't consider it. He kind of seemed dumbfounded when I brought it up. Assuming they are both being honest (i confronted AP), they only made out a handful of times and once hand over the clothes feeling up. Daily long, emotional hugs, and some "necking" along with hickeys once.

I'm still really emotional about the PA stuff because at the time DD1 it was only an EA. WP didn't in fact go NC after DD1 as requested and agreed, and then it turned PA. The only reason I KNOW it didn't go to a PA inclusive of sex, is due to APs religion - and oddly enough I do trust what the AP told me when I confronted her. She disclosed far more than I asked/wanted to know, presumably because she was learning at the same time as I that she had also been lied to.

EDIT: missed a word, needed clarity

[This message edited by AnxiousAvoidant at 6:58 PM, Wednesday, June 3rd]

Deeper answers can come slowly. Also I think most ws’s will try and avoid answering certain things because they are trying to protect themselves and get the outcome they want. It took a while for me to dig into and fully admit how awful I was in what I was doing. However, progress towards all those whys and hows must be strived for and looked at for the benefit of both partners. I would recommend he attend therapy, it’s hard to make all the dot connections and work on changing the things about ourselves that made this all possible. It’s hard to do that without help.