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My sister did not get invited to this event either. So why invite my daughter?

What type of party is this? I.e., Is it possible the people invited are just at your niece's age bracket vs a party for everyone?

Once my kids got to a certain age, I gave them the option of having a whole-family type party or just for kids (or to just go somewhere instead). Maybe she doesn't want a party with all the aunts/uncles/grandparents, etc?

If this is an occasion that you typically send a card/gift for, then I still would (like if you always send her a gift and card each year for her birthday). But if you are doing it just because of the party, then I would just ignore and move along.

Try not to let this take up anymore of your headspace. It might have zilch to do with your relationship with your SIL, etc.

Thanks EvenKeel.

It's a graduation party. I thought she had another year so she must be graduating early. My DD is in her thirties so she is not really in the same age group or particularly close to the graduate.

My sister may not have been invited because we are very close and she eventually tired of SIL's mean girl behavior towards me and stopped catering to her.

The reality is I will never know for sure if this was an intent to hurt me or entirely something else. I guess without all the history I would have just given the benefit of doubt instead of feeling hurt.

If my daughter didn't tell me about the party I would not have known she graduated so would not have sent a gift.

She is popular, successful as is my brother, they have a beautiful home and they appear to have many friends and a full life.

They are probably very unhappy miserable people. We had neighbors that had it all. Friends, success, something a lot of people were envious of. They suddenly ghosted us, and had nothing to do with us. My W was very hurt and couldn't figure out what we had done (absolutely nothing happened). We immediately went NC and we never spoke to that couple again.

Come to find out they did this (ghosting) to everyone. The friends that worked to be accepted stayed in the circle the ones that didn't were talked about. All the friends around them were just as phony, kissing the ring to stay in the circle. The lady was evil, she had to control and manipulate everyone around her and her H stood silent as she did it. A year later his mugshot was circulating on Facebook for (criminal mischief) destroying the house, he lost his security clearance with the government and became unemployed. There D was final late last year. They were never true friends and extremely toxic.

"They were never true friends and extremely toxic"

I'm sorry your wife was hurt but good for both of you for going NC and moving on.

I would be surprised if my brother and sil were unhappy but I guess you never know.