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Newest Member: chickenchicken

Just Found Out :
Great Posts for Newbies to Read

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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 6:41 PM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2019

Bump

posts: 6648   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 8360504
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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 9:04 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2019

Bump 😊

posts: 6648   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 8367321
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heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 2:25 AM on Sunday, April 28th, 2019

bump

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.

posts: 2540   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: California
id 8369532
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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 2:59 PM on Friday, May 31st, 2019

Bump

posts: 6648   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 8385897
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 11:18 AM on Thursday, June 27th, 2019

Bump

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 8398204
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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 2:00 PM on Saturday, July 6th, 2019

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8372   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8402196
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:46 PM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2019

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30400   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8442176
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:17 AM on Friday, September 27th, 2019

Bump

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6192   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8443609
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 11:31 PM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2019

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30400   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8456935
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 10:15 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

!

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30400   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8468708
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:17 PM on Thursday, December 12th, 2019

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30400   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8481360
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:48 PM on Thursday, January 9th, 2020

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30400   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8493741
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Edie ( member #26133) posted at 8:49 PM on Monday, February 3rd, 2020

Bump

posts: 6648   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 8505002
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:51 PM on Sunday, April 26th, 2020

this thread shouldn't be forgotten....

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30400   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8536265
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:38 PM on Sunday, May 24th, 2020

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30400   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8545391
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getbusyliving ( member #71058) posted at 2:17 AM on Monday, May 25th, 2020

Thanks, I have been trying mindfulness but need a more active version. My ruminating has been wishing I hadn't been such a dummy and done more of all the things that are suggested here (found this site 2 - 2.5 years out of dd1 and dd2). So I ruminate about what I could have / should have done. I also then do still have extreme waves of hurt from the betrayal and think about it everyday. But at least it has no longer been all day for sometime. If I think about it, I allow myself some time and try and redirect my thoughts to that I did the best at the time, I trusted the person and am not a 'snoop' and respect other people's privacy. My WH cheating spans years but I only found out in one big hit so I also can ruminate about each one even though some were years ago (but not to me). Cooking, exercise and gardening examples are 3 good ones for me. Thank you. Will try this

posts: 102   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2019
id 8545503
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:21 AM on Tuesday, June 9th, 2020

Bump

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6192   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8549399
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heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 4:09 PM on Tuesday, July 28th, 2020

bump

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.

posts: 2540   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: California
id 8567333
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:13 PM on Wednesday, September 30th, 2020

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30400   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8593002
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Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 12:30 PM on Thursday, October 1st, 2020

Bump

One day at a time

Buffer

posts: 1318   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2019   ·   location: Australia
id 8593342
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