SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'm not sure if this is the right forums to post in so mods please move it if you need to.

I am getting sick of starting a series, movie or book only to realise it features infidelity as a major theme and have to give up on it! I so miss the ease of picking up a book or choosing a series or film to watch pre DD! Even cosy dramas like Gilmore Girls is full of infidelity! I find myself having to Google each book, TV series or film before settling down now and it's tiresome!

So please can I have some infidelity free books, TV series and film recommendations please! I love most genres: thrillers, dystopian, disaster movies, action films, feel good movies, documentaries and used to love cheesy Christmas romance movies but unfortunately those days are gone. Only thing I don't like is horrors or historical war dramas.

Thanks 😁

I know how you feel, it sucks. Even some really good shows you once liked now is ruined. I didn't even notice the scenes until rewatching them. So, I definitely get it.

I would recommend the following for more recent movies:

Project Hail Mary

The Martian

Other Movies: (Sorry, I like history/ military. So, some might veer that way a smidge.)

Jack Ryan Series- (Eg, Red October)

Crimson Tides

Lucy

Spider Man

Jumanji

Night At the Museum

Happy Gilmore

Grown Ups 1 and 2

Glory

Mission Impossible

Angel Has Fallen Series

Jurassic Park Series

The Day After Tomorrow

Greenland

John Wick Series

The Mummy Series

Harry Potter Series

Top Gun Series

Air Bud Series

Avatar Series

Blade Series

The Blind Side

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (original and new)

The Da Vinci Code Series

A Dogs Purpose Series

Hachi

Elf

Edge of Tomorrow

Gattaca

K 19 Windowmaker

Matilda

Remarkably Bright Creatures

Bright

Gran Torino

I, Robot

Snowpiercer

The Day the Earth Stood Still

Jack Reacher Series

Jungle Cruise

Life of Pi

Life

Paul

Ride Along Series

The Rock

Rush Hour series

Tommy Boy

21 Jump Street and 22 Jump Street

Other TV Shows: Some might be older lol.

Home Improvement (I know its old, but its relaxing and it isn't like what TV shows are now)

Loki

The Last Ship

Longmire

Green Acres

11.22.63

[This message edited by Vikrant1993 at 3:56 PM, Sunday, May 31st]

I am better about dealing better when infidelity shows up in a book or onscreen or in a song — but it took awhile.

On occasion, there is still an aspect so realistic about infidelity in a film or show that it does hit harder than other times.

That said, my wife and I chase after fun and funny stuff to watch more than anything else. Comedy shows, stand-up comedy shows, old sit-coms, rom coms, pretty much anything that can make us laugh or smile is what we look for, since that is how we’re approaching our M now, grabbing a hold of joy at any chance we get. Travel is great, because it is just us on a new adventure and tracking down our adult kids is also a great joy.

Baseball is one of my favorite things, and I rarely hear about any wacky off field issues about players M during a game.

Until you get there, if triggers are still prominent (first three YEARS of recovery, no way I wanted to be ‘entertained’ by infidelity), I would say looking up the content is still your best bet.

For example, Vikrant’s list is decent, but Longmire has infidelity in it (or flashbacks to it) and while Tommy Boy is a very funny movie, it does include the verboten topic.

(((Evio)))

It's just sucks ass, doesn't it?! It seems infidelity is everywhere and no matter how hard we try to avoid it, there it is, treated with cold indifference to those who have had to survive it.

I went through the same shit you're going through and it's a wonder I didn't destroy my television.

It does get easier. Eventually the subject won't be so triggery. Eventually you'll see it as just another aspect of human stupidity.

I recently watched "The Girl on the Train," which is chocked full of infidelity. Had I watched it when it was released, bad things would have happened in "Unhinged World."

Olwounds,

For example, Vikrant’s list is decent, but Longmire has infidelity in it (or flashbacks to it) and while Tommy Boy is a very funny movie, it does include the verboten topic.

Oh wow! I completely forgot about Longmire's and Tommy Boys portions to infidelity. I appreciate the call out on it!

Unhinged,

It does get easier. Eventually the subject won't be so triggery. Eventually you'll see it as just another aspect of human stupidity.

I recently watched "The Girl on the Train," which is chocked full of infidelity. Had I watched it when it was released, bad things would have happened in "Unhinged World." rolleyes

Evio,

Unhinged is right, it eventually does get easier with time. There are times earlier on in the beginning we went to AMC with the wife to watch a movie and infidelity would pop up. Shockingly at the time, being so early, she did help through it. It sucked being reminded of what has happened early on, but eventually it does get easier.

I know it's hard in the beginning. But at some point, I just accepted it for what it is. Like us, it's part of the story being told. We can either let it destroy us or survive and become stronger in whatever you desire. Eventually one day, it will become a "it is what it is" situation with you. It eventually became more of an annoyance rather than gut punch. There is no doubt it still sucks though.

Ugh….I can watch and read about infidelity now….but couldn’t for years. I went through a weird phase of horror, true crime (felt vindicated seeing cheaters getting some form of violent karma - disturbing, I know), and inexplicably….a Disney phase.

I spent a lot of time away from screens and outside those first few years.

Thanks for the recommendations and advice everyone.
I will definitely check out some of the recommendations and continue to Google.
Ladybug - I have watched an unhealthy amount of true crime, cult documentaries and conversely, Disney movies. Hopefully the Disney movies help balance out the dark programmes 🫣

It is programming, normalization and it is effective.

Think who makes this stuff tend to be people who almost universally are on a low self worth- dopamine drive ego trip. Infidelity and betrayal is so widespread in that environment that when you see a famous person who is loyal and faithful is a rarity as a black diamond. You can probably name them all on the fingers of your hand.

So the kind of people that whole life revolves around lies, cheating and living a selfish fantasy in Every relationship, the have no relationship whatsoever only an infinite number of "next affair partners ", often multiple at once.

You live your everyday life lying to those who are supposed to be the closest to you.

An endless performance in the wait of the next dopamine hit to fill your unfillable void.

Any surprise that what they produce praises betrayal as "the one true love"?

When you live your life lying yourself everyday you can’t really expect a sudden change of heart, not when you are an ego junkie dopamine driven and get paid vast sums of money for that. Is the ultimate ego validation boost, exactly what every cheater craves.

But everyone knows deep inside how broken that is, is human and inescapable. They can numb the void with drugs and excess only so much, whenever you are alone with yourself it will always catch up to you.

And the awareness of living a fake life built upon lies is whispering, crushing your self every single time the loud is quiet.

So how does a broken ego respond to this?
It doesn’t. Response is what unbroken people do, the ego can only react.

And the reaction is what you see in the final product: make your lifestyle (or rather liestyle) mainstream.
Celebrate it. Normalize it. If it gets accepted then you become "normal" again right?

If broken is the normal then you are no longer broken and maybe you can finally reach peace.

Circular logic, doesn’t work. The lies and manipulation and twisted stuff you get is a reflection of the creators own life experience, where lies and manipulation make the frail framework of their emotional state, a house of cards that cannot be confronted because it always collapses.

The only defense against this awareness is "if everyone is on board with this, then I am not wrong ". Anything but facing your ghosts, the terror of looking inside is just too much.

And it works, like most social experiments with a large reach it does lead the most vulnerable individual into emulation of what they are fed. Drowning their misery in an ever deeper misery, preying on their weaknesses just like a narcissist manipulates their victims.

They are led to become like that, and their pain deepens. The coping like those who create this programming is doubling down onto this. Follow the dopamine and soothe the ever broken ego, make it more twisted and self deceptive.

It creates misery in the weakest, propagates the lie to make their creators feel better about their shitty choices.

But they don’t feel better. That’s why they so commonly spiral into the limbo and self destruction. Self sabotage will never be constructive, cannot heal you, just break you further.

Their stories just create more people like them, telling the vulnerable at their most vulnerable stage in life it’s okay to do this, that’s where you will find happiness. That’s how life works.

It doesn’t and they create hordes of broken people who also break the healthy ones with their own self sabotage.

And broken people are lonely, isolated, easy to control and manipulate.
So if course there are a lot of interest groups that encourage this shit circus to go, it’s easily exploitable to have masses of broken people who lost touch with boundaries and self / mutual respect, both financially and politically.

Fulfilled and centered people are hard to manipulate and exploit, broken people are a piece of cake.

It’s a multibillion industry and now just about the fucked up mainstream stories and depictions of betrayal, there is a galaxy of exploration to mix the aftermath of its impact that is just to appealing to stop and easy to milk.

It’s marketing and manipulation.

If these people were to be predominantly pedofile or rapists rather than cheaters (of course there are those too in this circus, it’s just a different flavor of brokenness but it stems from a common root) you would get the same stories glorifying pedophilia and rape as the one true love.

Not excluded that that shit is seeping in, there is just about nothing that will be rejected by mainstream society, it’s only a matter of time and pressure.

It’s already a romanticizing of sexual and emotional abuse reframed as true love. The other shit is not far from this cesspool.

And there is no interest to stop the money cow.

Easy money and power.
Marketing 101