Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.
Lost
I'm not on here almost every anymore. I'm happy to be much further down the road the path of healing and doing well. Today I heard a song I've never heard before - "Lost" by Linkin Park. Even if you are not a fan of their stuff, it's worth a listen. It's not often a song resonates with my journey with infidelity so completely and this one spoke to exactly where I was for so long. Too long looking through my 20/20 hindsight glasses. I had a mental breakdown, and this song spoke about so much of why, and summarize it perfectly at the end of the song.
I'm lost in these memories
Living behind my own illusion
Lost all my dignity
Living inside my own confusion
When I figured out some things I was able to get back to my reality and live my life. It took an incredible amount of time, and spending way too much time in pain to get there, but I did. I was not not broken, I was incredibly hurt with some lifelong impacts. It felt mortal to me, for a long time, and it introduced an "understanding" of a couple things I could have lived with out (hate and why people feel like there is only one way out). Eventually I think most people will realize it's not your fault, they cheater did not think of you (one of the bazillion wounds to heal), and nothing you did created this mess. It does not fit everyone, but like everything on this site, take what you need and leave the rest.
Sorry for all those working through the pain. Just wanted to post something positive for the so many people in that "Lost" stage.
3 comments posted: Sunday, September 24th, 2023