Shocked by the vile, hostile response to filing
Ok, after months of WH telling me he was considering divorce, he even left for 2 weeks, I was shocked this week at his response to me filing. He has been pulling away for months. His "storyline" was 1. We grew apart and 2. He just can’t forgive himself for all the cheating 12 - 13 years ago.
Both total smokescreens when I recently uncovered the truth about what he has been doing.
He has been living downstairs since Sept and we were communicating but surface level. I left a note 3 weeks ago for him to move out, I will file paperwork and give me
Passwords to all the accounts, ect.
So, I started doing what I needed to do, opened my own bank account to which he was enraged. So odd when I pointed out most women to do have their own accounts.
On the advice of his own sister I retained an attorney and got the paperwork going. So, the day she was filing I thought in my silly mind that I would tell him in person and we could calmly both say how sad, but it’s what needs to happen. I had a lovely speech in mind. I mean it’s what he wants, I actually would have preferred to have a happy, healthy marriage.
I feel I should be outraged at the recent discovery but I actually am deeply sad. But, the timing of the filing and me meeting with my monthly girlfriend get together didn’t work out so I sent a text that I wanted to tell him in person but couldn’t. I still thought he would be good with it since, once again it’s what he wanted.
He went ballistic! Holy Hell! I had to have my kids come over and stay with me and we ended up calling the police at midnight! He wouldn’t leave and although wasn’t physically threatening his vile, disgusting text messages wouldn’t stop. Yes, I could have turned off my phone but he was still in the house and we could sense he was about to explode.
TBH - I have never witnessed such disgusting language from him in 38 years. It was shocking. A lovely 5 foot tall policewoman had to tell him he is a grown man and he can’t
Talk to me or any woman that way. One of my sons got him to leave and he is now mostly moved out.
Actually it worked out it was by text because my lawyer used the evidence to threaten him with a restraining order. What an idiot. Of course the story is that he was blindsided and I lied to him that we could work it out without an attorney. I never said that. Just another smokescreen to blame me.
Now the story is I never treated him well throughout our 37 year marriage and he is looking out for his happiness. Hmmm, well he currently is taking advice from a 32 year old, only fans sex worker, so there you go!
The D is filed though and I know he is going to put up a fight and try to slander me the best he can. But, I feel some relief that it’s in process. He still has things to move and I am not able to change the locks yet, hopefully soon.
My kind daughter and son in law are temporarily staying with me and 2 nearby sons are checking in daily. I have great neighbors and friends nearby too.
I know he just wanted to control the outcome of the D and manipulate me. Why I was thinking I would get a normal reaction from someone who is anything but normal I will never know!
15 comments posted: Friday, December 1st, 2023
After many years, here again
I wasn’t sure if any of the folks I first started with on this crazy journey were still around so thought I would post here to start.
After 11 years from Dday, I am sad to say I am filing for D. There have been good times during the 11 years where I felt I could trust WH, I did uncover some porn use now and then.
Two weeks ago I uncovered him using and only fans account - it looked like for a couple of weeks but who knows if this has been ongoing. I also saw where he lost 25K from a 401 k account, took out loans I didn’t know about and has been paying some other odd accounts. It’s terrible.
When confronted he lied of course and then kind of admitted some of it. I have asked him to leave, but he has t yet. He found out I just opened my own bank account and was furious with me. Hmmmm I do a normal thing most women do but he has clearly lied and deceived me?
I can’t believe it’s happening, we are so close to retirement and had so many lovely plans. I know I will be ok, but it’s hard. I have good support from family and friends.
Fact is he is a sex addict who never completely overcame his addiction. He tried a lot of things but I don’t think fully engaged. I know you guys will understand.
3 comments posted: Sunday, November 19th, 2023
After 11 years, sadly here again
I wasn’t sure if any of the folks I first started with on this crazy journey were still around so thought I would post here to start.
After 11 years from Dday, I am sad to say I am filing for D. There have been good times during the 11 years where I felt I could trust WH, I did uncover some porn use now and then.
Two weeks ago I uncovered him using and only fans account - it looked like for a couple of weeks but who knows if this has been ongoing. I also saw where he lost 25K from a 401 k account, took out loans I didn’t know about and has been paying some other odd accounts. It’s terrible.
When confronted he lied of course and then kind of admitted some of it. I have asked him to leave, but he has t yet. He found out I just opened my own bank account and was furious with me. Hmmmm I do a normal thing most women do but he has clearly lied and deceived me?
I can’t believe it’s happening, we are so close to retirement and had so many lovely plans. I know I will be ok, but it’s hard. I have good support from family and friends.
Fact is he is a sex addict who never completely overcame his addiction. He tried a lot of things but I don’t think fully engaged. I know you guys will understand.
18 comments posted: Sunday, November 19th, 2023
