You can love someone, and still choose to say goodbye to them. You can miss a person every day and still feel grateful that they are no longer in your life. ~Oprah
Affairs the whole time we were together
I can’t believe I’m here, but I’m grateful that something like this platform exists. This is my first post and I found out September 10, but still feel like it was yesterday. I hope my post is ok, just telling my story
I found out one morning after he had left to go take his daughter out. I had found condoms in his bedside table and an earring that wasn’t mine, and I was just staring at this being like I have to get to the bottom of this. What I did next I am not proud of, I have never looked in his phone or social media the entire time we have been together, but I thought let me try our Netflix password on his Instagram. And what do you know, it worked. I was in absolute shock, the first message is from a woman (who is also married) he has been seeing the past 3 months - daily communication, making plans when I am out of town etc. but it got worse, messages and messages of other women he sees on work trips, asking them to go meet him places and additionally still seeing his exes when I am out of town.
I packed up what I could and texted him the name of the woman. I didn’t answer all day, he’s gaslighting me and my bestfriend sending us messages that he has known this woman for 8 years professionally and nothing is going on, to please come home and talk to him. Meanwhile I can see that he has made plans to see her that evening!
So I show up back to our place and catch him with her. He tried to turn it around that he thought I had left him, and why didn’t I reply. I just said get her out of here, and she left. I just went in the other room so I didn’t have to see her as she was leaving.
We talked but I didn’t tell him how I found out or what else I knew. I was too devastated and scared of what he might do if he knew I spied on his social media, so I left and went to stay at my friends house and left for a work trip for 2 weeks.
I got home and told him it was over, did not divulge everything I know, went to stay at my friends house as was only in town for 5 days and then on the road again for work.
He keeps calling and texting, saying he made this one mistake and will never do it again - but I know it’s all lies. I don’t know what to do I want to tell him everything I know but I’m also scared what he will say, and turn mean. I do believe I am dealing with a true narcissist, and don’t know if telling him will get me anywhere, even though I have the hard proof.
I’m still away for work and am dreading going home.
The awful part is I would love if we could work through this - I just don’t think he will ever change and I should get out now.
Thank you for reading
11 comments posted: Saturday, October 15th, 2022
