How long?

How long did it take you to feel really confident in your decision to stay? I am 20 months post d-day and still questioning if I made the right decision. I still have so many triggers. I think one of the biggest setbacks for me is that he treated me horribly before and during the affair. He knew how much he was hurting me by how he was treating me and chose to do it anyway. He has done a COMPLETE 180 since d-day, but I still have so much anger and resentment.

4 comments posted: Tuesday, June 2nd, 2026

Still Struggling

I am a year and a half post D-day and still struggling so much some days. My husband has completely changed and become so much better which has helped so much, but I still can’t get over the betrayal. I know I will never "get over" it but I find myself spiraling a lot still. He has told me they both never wanted to leave their spouses and it was just a "fantasy." But he has also told me they did say if circumstances were different what if they were together kind of things. He says it was never real for him, but I just can’t stop thinking about it.

17 comments posted: Monday, February 23rd, 2026

In laws

Curious how you would handle a situation where your in laws told you to come to a resolution one year after finding out about your spouse’s affair so things can go back to normal for them. We have never been super close, and obviously the affair recovery caused more strain, but my spouse and I are trying to work through it and have still included them in activities with our children through the past year.

31 comments posted: Saturday, November 8th, 2025