My story and hopefully the ending
It happened almost 16 years ago. Our daughter was diagnosed with epilepsy. It wasn’t a fatal diagnosis, but for young parents with their first child, it felt like the worst thing that could happen. We were desperate and tried everything — hospitals, healers, esoteric practices, anyone who had gone through something similar.That’s how my wife ended up with this "clairvoyant" who told her he clearly saw that if she slept with him, our daughter would get better soon. And the next day, she did exactly that.She couldn’t keep this secret for long. About a year later she told me, but she didn’t say who it was, because I reacted strongly — I shut down, went silent, went into another room and locked the door for a day. I forgave her very quickly back then, mostly because we had to take care of our daughter, who of course did not get better.Our daughter eventually outgrew the condition, like most children do, about seven years after the first seizures — exactly as the doctors had told us, regardless of whether she took medication or not. When the illness was finally behind us, the topic resurfaced. I guess because once the crisis was over, all the unprocessed emotions came back. That’s when the full truth came out — who it was, and why it happened.Unfortunately, my wife couldn’t help me with any of it. She couldn’t apologize, couldn’t support me — she simply didn’t have the strength then, and she still doesn’t. I had to deal with everything alone. It hurt so much I wanted to scream. I put a punching bag in the basement and spent a lot of time down there imagining that "clairvoyant" in its place.I couldn’t stay angry at my wife for long. I don’t know… but in that situation, I might have done something just as irrational. Back then I prayed at night asking God to take my life in exchange for my daughter’s health. I understand her. But she never managed to understand me, or the pain she caused me.She threw herself into esotericism even deeper, probably trying to convince herself that what she did somehow helped. I started to hate everything mystical. After about five years I got tired of hating and simply stopped paying attention to esotericism at all. She also slowly lost interest in it.We still live together. We have a second child. I trust her again, but I think I just want to put a final period at the end of this story. I can’t talk about it with her — her pain seems just as strong as mine, maybe even stronger, and she has no strength to discuss it. But I want to feel that I’m not alone, that my pain is real, and I hope my story might help someone else.My story is complicated, ugly, painful — but I’m sure others have gone through something similar. And for those who haven’t, I hope reading this will help them avoid making desperate, impulsive decisions. It hurts, but it’s survivable.
3 comments posted: Wednesday, June 3rd, 2026
