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Newest Member: ConstantlyConfused

The Book Club :
How to Survive Change... You Didn't Ask For

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 5:47 AM on Wednesday, August 5th, 2015

By M.J. Ryan.

I got tired of reading After the Affair, Not Just Friends, everything by John Gottman, etc. This book about surviving change is more about surviving economic change (the examples are largely about layoffs, budgeting, selling your house, etc.), but I'm finding it helpful to move the focus to me and getting me through this mess, instead of constantly thinking about the relationship. One of the early suggestions in the book is to make a list of all the things you've accomplished in your life, As a reminder of how you have dealt with past challenges and that you will get through this one.

I'm just throwing it out there in case anyone else is sick of relationship recovery books!

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7304665
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rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 1:49 PM on Monday, August 10th, 2015

Hawke - thank you for this. Her youtube talk on this is fantastic. So glad SOMEONE recognizes the physiological aspects of trauma.

posts: 7613   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 7309749
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Skye ( member #325) posted at 4:04 PM on Monday, August 10th, 2015

She is the ONLY self-help author who helped me. While none of her books have infidelity as their theme, they all have been of help to me. Thanks for reminding me of this wonderful woman.

posts: 5662   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2002
id 7309925
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 5:09 PM on Tuesday, August 11th, 2015

I'm glad others have found her helpful. I'm finally thinking about myself and feeling a bit healthier, getting on anti-depressants and getting appropriate individual counselling. And now I will have to look up her YouTube talk and her other books!

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7311258
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LumpyLola ( member #44330) posted at 9:20 PM on Monday, August 17th, 2015

Thanks for that tip. I'll check it out.

While we're on the subject, I vehemently do NOT recommend "After The Affair" to anyone suffering after an A. The author, Janis Abrams Spring, blames BOTH partners equally for the cheaters behavior. As we know, that is NOT always the case, but according to her, it IS. Wow.

posts: 189   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Chicago
id 7317402
Topic is Sleeping.
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