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Newest Member: Betrayed1000XBy1

The Book Club :
Free Affair/Relationship Books

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 12:51 AM on Tuesday, May 10th, 2016

I have a ton of affair/relationship books to give away. I'm keeping my divorce/coparenting books

I will post pics in comments, but here they are in no particular order:

Getting Past the Affair by Snyder et al

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Kirshenbaum

Chatting or Cheating by Meyers

Spousonomics by Szuchman and Anderson

Getting the Sex you Want by Nelson (actually, I might keep that one )

Talking Dirty by Neustifier (hmmm... I might reconsider keeping that one in case I ever, ahem, need it)

Mating in Captivity by Perel

What Makes Love Last by Gottman

Where to Draw the Line by Katherine

After the Affair by Spring

Not Just Friends by Glass

Marriage Rules by Lerner

The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by Gottman

The Sex-Starved Marriage by Davis

If I find anymore, I'll come back and edit. As you can see, I often try to solve problems with information.

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7552060
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 1:48 AM on Tuesday, May 10th, 2016

Pics:

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7552104
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 1:49 AM on Tuesday, May 10th, 2016

More Pics:

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7552107
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 1:49 AM on Tuesday, May 10th, 2016

Last pics:

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7552108
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 1:50 AM on Tuesday, May 10th, 2016

OK, it's not really a ton, but at least a few kilos.

I can mail them to people who want/need them.

Also, if you'd like more info, I can take a pic of the blurb on the back or tell you what I thought of the book.

[This message edited by Hawke at 7:54 PM, May 9th (Monday)]

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7552109
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latebloomer45 ( member #18021) posted at 4:08 PM on Tuesday, May 10th, 2016

What did you think of Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay?

Just curios.

Me: BS 56
Him: FWS 58
Married 32 years
Son-26 Daughter (Who Came out as trans, so now Son)-23,
D-Day #1 12/11/2007
D-Day #2 5/23/2008 fucking trickle truth!
Whatever Threnody said, I concur.

posts: 4697   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Midwest
id 7552523
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 8:44 PM on Tuesday, May 10th, 2016

I would say that the author is pro-reconciliation. She basically says that if you are on the fence about leaving or staying, opt to stay for a while to see if the relationship can be salvaged.

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7552871
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latebloomer45 ( member #18021) posted at 2:23 AM on Wednesday, May 11th, 2016

OK. I think I'll get it from the library...I'm sure someone closer to DDAy would find it more helpful. Thanks.

Me: BS 56
Him: FWS 58
Married 32 years
Son-26 Daughter (Who Came out as trans, so now Son)-23,
D-Day #1 12/11/2007
D-Day #2 5/23/2008 fucking trickle truth!
Whatever Threnody said, I concur.

posts: 4697   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Midwest
id 7553168
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Lost16 ( new member #55092) posted at 5:54 PM on Thursday, September 15th, 2016

"Not Just Friends" and "Getting past the affair" are books I would like to read, i have read the information on them online just the other day before finding your post.. If you still have them i would be happy to take them, and give away once i am done with them as well to help others.

Me BS: 33
Him WH: 33
Married 15yrs
DDay: 08/28/16 & 08/19/17

Currently: Separating.. then Divorce

posts: 15   ·   registered: Sep. 11th, 2016
id 7661664
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stayedforthekids ( member #45706) posted at 8:17 PM on Thursday, September 15th, 2016

You're good people Hawke! Way to pay it forward.

I hate to admit it, I've read most of those books myself.

Madhatter

posts: 1364   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2014   ·   location: TX
id 7661788
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 9:14 PM on Thursday, September 15th, 2016

Let me check. I know I forwarded a few books on, but I may still have one of those.

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7661846
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Lost16 ( new member #55092) posted at 10:03 PM on Thursday, September 15th, 2016

Thank you Hawke for looking

Me BS: 33
Him WH: 33
Married 15yrs
DDay: 08/28/16 & 08/19/17

Currently: Separating.. then Divorce

posts: 15   ·   registered: Sep. 11th, 2016
id 7661889
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Minnesota ( member #50615) posted at 10:26 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2016

Lost- If she doesn't, I have Not Just Friends and can send that on to you.

Me: BS Upper 40's
Her: XWW younger 30's
Married Sept. 2010
DDay Thanksgiving 2015
Dday2- Jan28ish, 2016 -new affair
One child (Big Mister) born in 2012
Divorced Sept. 2, 2016

posts: 2120   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: Minnesota
id 7662839
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Minnesota ( member #50615) posted at 10:40 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2016

In fact, I have the following I would be happy to send:

How to Help your Spouse Heal from Your Affair (yes, I actually bought the book) (MacDonald)

I Love You But I don't Trust You (Kirshenbaum)

Not "Just Friends" (Glass)

Intimacy after Infidelity (Solomon and Teagno)

After the Affair (Spring)

First Aid for the Betrayed (Alan)

Getting Past the Affair (Snyder et. al.)

In grabbing these off these off the table, I glanced through the chapters again and think I want to read a few chapters in a couple of these again, especially now that I know what direction my life is going post D. So if you want one or more of these, it might take a day or two longer than you would expect before I send them because I might reread a copule chapters. - but ask.

Me: BS Upper 40's
Her: XWW younger 30's
Married Sept. 2010
DDay Thanksgiving 2015
Dday2- Jan28ish, 2016 -new affair
One child (Big Mister) born in 2012
Divorced Sept. 2, 2016

posts: 2120   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: Minnesota
id 7662852
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 11:40 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2016

I see we have similar taste in books, Minnesota. I expect a lot of us have a similar bookshelf (actually, mine now live in the "drawer of despair" in the bedside table on ex's old side of the bed.

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7662890
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Lost16 ( new member #55092) posted at 11:55 PM on Friday, September 16th, 2016

Minnesota you are so sweet.

Yes i can take those off your hand and also "How to Help your Spouse Heal from Your Affair (yes, I actually bought the book) (MacDonald)"

Just friends

Getting past the affair

How can I message you my info?

Me BS: 33
Him WH: 33
Married 15yrs
DDay: 08/28/16 & 08/19/17

Currently: Separating.. then Divorce

posts: 15   ·   registered: Sep. 11th, 2016
id 7662900
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Minnesota ( member #50615) posted at 6:44 AM on Saturday, September 17th, 2016

Lost- I sent you a Private Message. You can respond to it with an address I can ship those books to.

Hawke- I'm sure most of us do have the classics. I like that, "drawer of despair." I had my books at my office at work. I'll be happy to get that table back that they were sitting on. It will be the table of total awesomeness soon. :-)

Me: BS Upper 40's
Her: XWW younger 30's
Married Sept. 2010
DDay Thanksgiving 2015
Dday2- Jan28ish, 2016 -new affair
One child (Big Mister) born in 2012
Divorced Sept. 2, 2016

posts: 2120   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: Minnesota
id 7663083
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MultiplePain ( member #54608) posted at 4:34 PM on Monday, January 9th, 2017

Hawke, do you still have the copy of

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

or After the Affair?

I have many of the others, but it gets expensive quickly.

BS:46
STBXSAWH:41 (lostinthewoods12)
3 kids,2 angel babies
3 PAs, Too many OEAP (with Sexting) to count... from 2011-17
long version in my profile

posts: 182   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2016   ·   location: Wi
id 7751839
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Jerkwad ( member #56604) posted at 2:54 AM on Sunday, January 22nd, 2017

Do you still have any of the last 6 on your written list? I would like all of any of them that are available please. I can't send messages yet so can you please send me a message if they are available. Thank you.

If not, Minnesota, do you have those ones?

[This message edited by Jerkwad at 8:55 PM, January 21st (Saturday)]

Me: WH
Her: BS
D-day: 11/21/2016
Together 7 years engaged 2

posts: 56   ·   registered: Dec. 30th, 2016   ·   location: California
id 7763878
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 12:46 AM on Monday, January 23rd, 2017

I will check, but I might not get to it until Wednesday, if that's ok.

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7764509
Topic is Sleeping.
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