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Newest Member: Betrayed1000XBy1

The Book Club :
Your Reviews of Recommended Books

Topic is Sleeping.
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 hurthumiliated3 (original poster member #56189) posted at 5:45 AM on Tuesday, September 5th, 2017

It seems like a lot of books are recommended over and over here. I thought it might be fun to have a thread where people can post what they read and what they thought of it. I hope there isn't another thread like this out there somewhere. If so, I apologize for copying it

Not Just Friends: Hit very close to home. We started reading it together but I had to stop about halfway through because it was so painful. Good information, but I will have to come back to it.

How to Help Your Spouse Heal: WH listened to this audiobook on his own and then we listened to it together shortly after d-day. He listened to it again a few months after d-day and said he got even more out of it by listening again when he was further out from the situation. The successful rebuilder list has been an excellent guide for him. He was so lost those first few days after d-day, I think this gave him much needed direction. I found it helpful as the BS too, hearing that the things I needed (NC, transparency) were normal and could be expected.

Surviving an Affair by Dr. Harley: This had some good nuggets of wisdom, but I felt it encouraged rugsweeping (encouraging BS not to bring up affair often) and BS blaming. It even included an example of a BS writing a letter of apology to his WS! Not my cup of tea. I wouldn't recommend it.

Living and Loving After Betrayal: Lots of good information. I like how this one covered the physiological (I think that is right) effects of trauma. There are tons of written exercises in here. I only did a handful but still found the book tremendously helpful.

What Makes Love Last? by John Gottman: Excellent book, one of the best I've read. It touches on infidelity a bit, but mostly focuses on relationship building skills. I wish we would have read this years ago, although I don't know if WH would have listened to the message as closely then. Very helpful.

The Gifts of Imperfection and Rising Strong by Brene Brown: Both very helpful in personal healing. I found Rising Strong especially powerful, but i think I just read it at the right time. I wrote pages and pages in my journal while reading Rising Strong, thinking about what is true vs. what I am telling myself is true. WH is reading her book Daring Greatly now and I am looking forward to reading it when he is done.

Up next...When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron.

I'm interested in hearing what others thought of these books, and also what books you guys have read and what you thought of them.

Me- BW, mid 30s
Him(Fake Husband)- late 30s, 6 week PA with COW
3 kids, 15 years married
Dday Oct 2016

posts: 366   ยท   registered: Nov. 29th, 2016
id 7964465
Topic is Sleeping.
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