Topic is Sleeping.
Justsomelady ( member #71054) posted at 8:05 AM on Wednesday, April 15th, 2020
Yeah, I’m with the opinion that the wife should be informed as it is unlikely she’s on board with his dating profile. If she is, then what’s the problem? If she isn’t, then she’s at least gotten the truth. I’d want to know that much.
Be responsible for telling the truth. Not managing other people’s reactions to it - Mel Robbins .
Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 10:46 AM on Wednesday, April 15th, 2020
I think you did good.
I just started OLD. Let’s of self righteous married men. Probably women too but I don’t see them
It makes my skin crawl
[This message edited by Tallgirl at 4:47 AM, April 15th (Wednesday)]
sparkysable ( member #3703) posted at 5:15 PM on Wednesday, April 15th, 2020
You did the right thing. Let us know if she ever responds.
D-day OW#1 2/2004;D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 8:17 PM on Wednesday, April 15th, 2020
You did the right thing. Send her the info and she can handle from there.
Although if you hear back from her please update us...
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 9:54 PM on Wednesday, April 15th, 2020
Honestly you guys, I feel like Batman for betrayed spouses. There's no stopping me. Yes this is for all the unsuspecting BS's out there. But as mentioned above, I'm finding it quite cathartic. Surprisingly so. I hadn't strongly considered that angle.
[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 3:59 PM, April 15th (Wednesday)]
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
ShatteredSakura ( member #70885) posted at 10:58 PM on Wednesday, April 15th, 2020
“I am vengeance, I am the night, I am Batman!”
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 12:30 AM on Thursday, April 16th, 2020
[His profile] was a made-up name like a vanity plate. But . . . In his dating profile pic, his real first and last name were on his work shirt as he owns his own company. (What an idiot)
What an idiot indeed. 
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Thanksgiving2016 ( member #63462) posted at 12:35 AM on Thursday, April 16th, 2020
Thanks for doing the right thing Bleep.
steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 12:49 AM on Thursday, April 16th, 2020
You did the right thing. Thank you from all BSs who wishes someone, anyone, would have informed us.
I sure don't like the don't get involved position people have because you don't know what might happen.
BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020
deena04 ( member #41741) posted at 1:14 AM on Thursday, April 16th, 2020
You did the right thing. It’s up to the wife from that point to decide what she does, but you may have helped confirm suspicions or open her eyes before she gets an STD. You did good!
[This message edited by deena04 at 7:15 PM, April 15th (Wednesday)]
Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 1:28 PM on Thursday, April 16th, 2020
I had that happen twice during my OLD. They are such idiots - very little digging yielding they were both married!
I called them out (the guy). The one went into panic-mode. "How did you find out? Do I know you IRL?" No idiot - your just not as locked down as your thought! I never saw a profile disappear so quickly in my life. lol
The second guy I found he was married and a swinger. He confessed he was looking for a 3rd for a threesome. This was validated because I found their profiles on threesome and swingers sites. Ummmmm - what were you going to do? Just spring your wife on me on our date and think I would just go along?
Anyway. Good for you sending it to the W. That is the way to go. I was a newbie.
Please let us know if you hear back.
WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 3:56 PM on Thursday, April 16th, 2020
Evenkeel, I had a man in an open marriage message me. His profile clearly stated (in the first sentence!!) That he and his wife were polyamorous. In his message, he offered his wife's contact info to put me at ease. I never messaged him back, as I have no interest in being the 3rd person in ANY marriage, open or not. But I respected his honesty. THAT is the way to go about it.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
shellofme ( member #57133) posted at 4:49 PM on Thursday, April 16th, 2020
WhoTheBleep:
Shouting out my RESPECT and THANKS for what you did. Despite wanting to be in a relationship, you are 1st taking the time to check out potential suitors. Then, you contacted the BS. Yes, superhero like indeed!
Your friend who told you about your last SO deserves a shout out too. Look how many good people on the planet it takes to help make the world a better place, not just for us BS, but for all the WS who need to recover and heal from their wounds, before causing deep wounds to others. . . If there were more people like you and your friend, many of us could have avoided years of pain, suffering, and trying to recover from much more intense trauma, than if our FWS had been stopped in their tracks before they could act out IRL.
J707 ( member #63778) posted at 6:43 PM on Thursday, April 16th, 2020
Good for you! Yeah, if he is in an open relationship or swingers, contacting the spouse wouldn't do any damage anyways. You did the right thing, I wish I would've got a heads up.
Topic is Sleeping.
