Happy new beginnings! I know I am a long ways away from being ready to date, but there are so many new doors opening for me, my entire life is newly beginning, so why not a post?
I have received support from the most unexpected places, reconnected with old friends. Meeting with an old flame tomorrow, no it ain't like that... her mom is dying of brain cancer and they just stopped her treatment, taking her for coffee to get her mind off everything for a couple hours. That and I am working on filling up my days when she is at home with the kids. Donated blood for the first time Wednesday just so I didn't have to be around her.
I joined a church. I know how some are about religion, I was raised catholic until I quit in 8th grade so trust me, I know. But this place seems pretty good, good music, young pastor, classes and events and Bible study. Real laid back place, just great people that love Jesus. If one wonders how I found Jesus after 36 years, well it's not hard in the deep dark pit of infidelity and divorce with a sociopath, I have seen evil and know without a doubt it exists. Nature has a yin and a yang, a beautiful semitry, if evil exists, then so does Jesus.
I am down 103 lbs since 3-1-21 as of today, and my lower back thanks me for it everyday 馃槅 March was when I knew I was going to be divorcing. That was the moment my own healing begun. Took awhile to feel ready to file, I gave her plenty of time to find my replacement, but that's alright.
For the first time in a real long time I'm getting excited about my life again, my time with my children, my time without them. Gonna take some dance classes, start playing bass guitar again, because why not? Started IC, think I'm gonna bump it up to once a week for a bit. I'm finding love again, and it's love for myself I haven't felt in 12 years.
Song on my ears right now, Momma Sad by Pucifer
Wake up, son of mine
Momma got something to tell you
Changes come
Life will have it's way
With your pride, son
Take it like a man
Hang on, son of mine
A storm is blowing up your horizon
Changes come
Keep your dignity
Take the high road
Take it like a man
Listen up, son of mine
Momma got something to tell you
All about growing pains
Life will pound away
Where the light don't shine, son
Take it like a man
Suck it up, son of mine
Thunder blowing up your horizon
Changes come
Keep your dignity
Take the high road
Take it like a man
Momma said like the rain
Like a kidney stone
It's just a broken heart, son
This pain will pass away
鉁岋笍 and 鉂わ笍