The saga started out in October 2017 when I was pregnant with my youngest after several excruciating pregnancy losses. My divorce was final in October of 2023!
My goals were to keep the house and not incur any debt from the divorce. I had to donate plasma to pay some of those billable hours, but I DID IT! I have the house and I have no additional debt. I am broke as hell, but now I do not have to pay every additional cent to a lawyer and can begin to use those additional funds for other things.
I look at it like I have finally come out of a long war, for all intents and purposes, practically unscathed and now I can begin to rebuild my country. My kids are doing great! My kindergartener is flourishing, and while my XWH is def a "disney dad", it is really for the best because I truly don't think he is capable of more. I am fine with doing the hard parenting things because I think it is what it best for my kid. Even though he has the standard every other weekend schedule, he only picks our son up for a couple of hours on Sunday and takes him to Main Event or Dave and Busters. I had a really interesting conversation with my son the other day.
My son and I were in the car and he said, "wouldn't it be crazy if I got pregnant and had a son? I can't do that though because I am a boy. I will take care of my son when my wife has one".
I said, "yeah, you will have to make him dinner, pack his lunch for school, buy his favorite snacks from the grocery store, throw him a birthday party, take him to karate, take him to the doctor, kiss his boo boos, meet with his teacher, help him with his homework, listen when he needs to talk because he is sad, drive him to his cousin's house, make sure he takes his shower and bushes his teeth every night, cuddle him in bed, buy his clothes and shoes, tell him stories, laugh at his funny jokes, take care of him when his is sic..."
He interrupted me, "mom, mom, mom, I am just going to take him to main event."
I didn't really know how to respond, but I thought it was pretty poignant. I somehow have to teach him that parents are responsible for more than just brief entertainment without denigrating his dad. I haven't figured it out yet, but I am hoping to demonstrate what a great parent does, not just what a mom does.
Anywho, life on the other side is absolutely amazing. None of my fears came true. Godspeed to all of you on this journey.