Thank you everyone for your points. I'm trying to keep neutral and don't act without a clear mind, whence why i didnt went before on the route that this0is0Fine said, but is not something that i believe. I still believe in love, and is the thing that still keeps me here trying, but i understand your point on the lies and yeah, i'm keeping an eye on every behavior ever since.
Icedover84, i think i'll discuss that point with my IC, but at some point i'm trying to not use this stuff as a clutch for my mind, since in a certain way i need to give her the space to keep proving stuff for me, but i'll try to keep your point in mind on next IC session. I think that things are improving in a good way because she is doing her part in all of this, and i can feel that is genuine. Like i said on my previous texts, she keeps apologizing, trying to make things confortable for me at all times and being transparent whenever i ask her anything, which is helping me a lot.
Sorry if is a confusing text, it is not my first language and sometimes i find hard to express myself properly. I dont wanna sound like everything is going fine and such, i'm still suffering and trying to heal, but things are not a hell too. I think i'm a more positive person, and since she's working hard to make amends i can give some space so she can keep proving this.
Thank you everyone.