I’m a little late to this, but I do remember you from before, TJG, and I’m wondering how it’s going for you this year.
I teach at a very high poverty Title 1 high school and have high class numbers this year. Classroom management is by FAR the most difficult part of my job, and I also struggle with the amount time that prep and grading take. So i absolutely get where you’re coming from. I probably have it somewhat easier than you because it’s a small town environment rather than urban, so I do much of my classroom management indirectly through the community, with ties I’ve built with families and students across many years of teaching here. Nonetheless, my district is known for being incredibly difficult from a classroom management perspective, and many teachers founder and fail. I’ve cried and struggled a lot.
From that perspective I have several thoughts.
1) your admin wants you gone, and fighting that probably isn’t worth the stress. I don’t know that it’s fair to you, or the kids, or the admin for you to try to hang on when admin clearly doesn’t want you there.
2) it is absolutely worth getting full pension when you’ve invested this much and are so close.
3) there is a teacher shortage, and there are other districts. You might have to commute, but I think it’s possible to serve out your remaining years in a place much better suited to your skills. You clearly have devotion and work ethic. In a lot of districts you would be appreciated for that, and you deserve appreciation!!
4) if you’re in the same school or district this year, take a deep breath. You can do this. Forget about classroom management classes or books. In truly challenging districts they are all but worthless. Ask me how I know. Instead, find a staff member with a similar vibe as you who has decent classroom management. Tell your admin that you want to improve by watching/shadowing them. Visit their class in your planning period. You will learn a lot. My first year my district had me shadow a 6’ 5" bball coach with great classroom management. Turns out what worked for him doesn’t work for a short middle aged white lady with strong librarian vibes. But I shadowed another successful middle aged lady teacher and learned a TON. I don’t have confidence or a loud presence. But I learned to lean into my natural empathy and kindness to build relationships, and I am highly structured. That’s how I manage classes. I still have a lot of room for growth, but I manage.
5) you do NOT need to be spending that much time planning and grading. I am at the highest end of my school for grading and planning time, and I teach English, a notoriously time-consuming subject area. But I do not spend that much time. No one does. You need to change to preserve your sanity. I know this is hard to hear, but if you’re staying til 7pm, that’s a you issue. I’m not trying to be mean; I’m saying this with the empathy of someone who has struggled with some of the same things.
I don’t know your situation right now, but whatever it is, take a deep breath. I think the smartest move is to change districts. But even if you’re in the same district/school, you can do this. You just have to be willing to evolve. Teaching in a difficult district is brutally hard, but you’re almost to retirement. You can get there in a way that serves your students well AND preserves your sanity. You just have to take it a day at a time and really be open to changing your approach.