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Newest Member: ConstantlyConfused

Reconciliation :
A weekend of feeling normal

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 Webbit (original poster member #84517) posted at 9:50 PM on Sunday, October 13th, 2024

This weekend has been hectic and so busy. On Saturday WH, myself and our eldest sons were all in a team for a charity soccer carnival. We had such a blast. Then Sunday was full of house chores, work for myself and the eldest boy and a party for the youngest son.

When I was cooking dinner and chatting to WH Sunday night completely exhausted I looked at him and realised not once over the weekend did I feel awful or bad. I felt completely normal all weekend.

Previous to this I would always feel like someone might see through us. That they could tell my marriage was a lie and filled with infidelity (that may sound dumb). But not once did I feel this way. I felt like a normal couple. And the only issue we had was when I got up him for arguing with the ref 馃槀

This was a good weekend 馃挌

Webbit

posts: 169   路   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2024   路   location: Australia
id 8851075
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:25 AM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2024

Glad you had a great weekend. Accept the good times and acknowledge the bad.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3868   路   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   路   location: Washington State
id 8851144
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AintDatSpecial ( member #83560) posted at 8:03 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2024

I know that feeling that everyone can see through you. I felt like I was being fake by not telling everyone. My therapist helped me understand that we weren鈥檛 being fake, we were a real couple going through a rough personal period and I didn鈥檛 need to share with anyone unless I wanted to. I鈥檓 glad you had a good weekend. I feel like the tide changes almost suddenly and you start to have more good days than bad. One word of caution though- the bad days still feel like they鈥檙e never going to end sometimes. I was keeping a journal and made a point to read my own writing on good days so I knew it was something achievable again.

Me- BW/ Him- WH, both early 40s/ D-day June 2023/ working on healing me

posts: 63   路   registered: Jul. 6th, 2023   路   location: United States
id 8851882
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 3:37 AM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2024

This is the part of the journey where your lizard brain will say "wait! shouldn鈥檛 I be doing something infidelity recovery related?" Then you realize maybe it鈥檚 ok to relax and maybe enjoy the moment you and your H find yourself in.

Progress.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3594   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8851917
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