SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

This0is0Fine

You have the Patience of JOB!

Went over your first thread - you have lived something one could call a nightmare and not be to far off.

I would surmise your wife still has low empathy/lacks remorse/harbors resentment for your "insistence" she be a faithful wife.

Regarding:

My wife said something but I didn’t answer right away. Then she looked at me and said, "Don’t even DARE think about it." I gave her the laser stare and changed the channel to the game.

10 minutes later she’s in the kitchen and demands an apology. Says she’s been a perfect wife, too perfect and for me to be upset after all this time tells her that I’m still not over it. Tells me she knows me by now and KNEW I read a spoiler and couldn’t wait to say something. Told me I should’ve saved it for my therapist and dumped on him, not her.

Just a comment - you will have the memory for life and everyone who doesn't understand is lacking some mental faculties.

There are lots of people of that genre on this planet - so? Do you accept that your wife may be affected as such?

Some people do change but at the pace at which a glacier flows.

Good luck may come your way -

Hippo16,

You've seemed to confuse Mechanic's post with mine, or somewhere you missed a transition. My wife has actually been really good and made a lot of improvements as a person since her A. I not only love her but enjoy spending time with her. The A really is dealt with thoroughly and isn't something that comes up much because we have worked through it.

We watched a couple more episodes.

My wife's A was much like Liz's with Mac in the show at the peak. I warned her. She didn't listen. She ended up kissing him. The "How long was the kiss" question was much like how it played out for me because that was a TT I had to deal with.

Attempted kiss -> actual kiss.

It didn't actually affect me as much as I thought it would. My wife was more affected, and also affected by some other plotlines. She still feels guilty as if she didn't do enough for her mom.

We only talked about it a little after. We talked way more before hand when I posted my previous update.

I'm a little upset at the apparent speed Derrick is moving with, but there are more episodes.

It's certainly treated as a serious issue, but the show is willing to throw around "mistake" more than I would like, and not just for the affair.

This0is0Fine

I don't know if I'm just more in need of 2X4's or what but I have appreciated all of your advice.

These forums really are so helpful, and people like you are what make it that way.

Thank you.

So we are watching the new season of Shrinking. Spoiler alert and trigger alert there is an affair.

Does SI have any kind of running list indicating what shows/movies/music/etc. contain mentions of affairs? I feel a list like that would have been very helpful to me in the beginning and, frankly, now.

No running list. We've had threads on the topic from time to time.

I'm not sure there enough digital storage space in the world to include every book, show, movie, whatever that touches on infidelity....

My post was based mostly on this thread -

This0is0Fine

(original poster member #72277)posted at 4:17 PM on Wednesday, December 11th, 2019

You have succeeded in conquering a major matrimonial upsetting experience and for that you have my accolades in spades.

The time you took and your manner of proceeding is mostly what I interpret from your posts in the thread.

Wish you warm winds and a following sea on your journey.

I remember your journey ThisIsFine. In particular I remember you had several WhatTheFuck!?! moments in 2020 when you discovered yet another friend of fWW's in an affair (as well as fWW's sister) that fWW knew about. You discovered over the course of the next several months the filth you were stuck living in. Your fWW's whole circle seemingly was WWs!

I remember you turning a corner about a year or so out--the end of 2020 if I am remembering carefully. That was when you finally put your foot down to your fWW's continuing nonsense and then she finally got a clue. I am happy it all is working out so well for you and your family!

[This message edited by WontBeFooledAgai at 4:36 AM, Wednesday, January 15th]

Well Hippo16, my first thread is really just the start of the story. At the end of that thread I was pretty sure I needed to divorce. Yes it was a long and slower than I would have liked journey.

I haven't updated my Bio in a bit. It might help if I write up a short list of links of my major threads.

WBFA,

That's definitely a short version of it. I don't know if I posted about it much but there was significant improvement in the WTF area at the latest WTF. My wife got her friend to be honest with her husband after a ONS. Obviously not good in terms of "damn near every person my wife is friends with has cheated now", but very good in how she handles it.