SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

On one of my earlier posts I wrote about my WH work closing and the manager of the place coming over to recommend staff to us, of which was AP, as we are in the same business line.

Tomorrow I will be travelling to their business site to learn some procedures for their clients who will be switching over to us. I had a call today from them informing me that the trainer will be the AP. Like WTAF, when does this end?????

I refuse to give up my chance as learning new things but fuck it is going to be an uncomfortable couple of hours. I am taking another employee with me so hopefully that will help. And I hope she feels just as uncomfortable as me.

Wish me luck!

What a horrible place to be in. So sorry, Webbit. Wishing wisdom for you and peace.

Here's a little humor to help. Do you know what you get when you polish a turd? A polished turd. Maybe think of her as a polished turd.

Can you plan something for yourself as a special self-care treat? Go for a massage or a special place for an awesome meal or even a banana split? Just think, the day is bananas, so I'll enjoy a banana split.

Sometimes life sucks for a while.

I hope you walk in there like you own the joint! And I hope she’s terribly uncomfortable.

Go get ‘em!

And wear an outfit makes you feel like a BASGU (bad ass sparkly unicorn goddess). And strap on your bitch boots.

Wear an outfit that helps you feel the absolute best. (Mine is a thrift store flowered dress for $8 and a $25 pair of leggings not bought at the same time). Doesn't have to be pricey, just make you feel awesome.

[This message edited by leafields at 3:23 PM, Wednesday, January 15th]

Thank you both.

Unfortunately @leafields I wear high vis and work boot for my job BUT I will march in there like a boss. And I will make sure I have my favorite bottle of wine chilled waiting for me when I get home.

Thanks for the good vibes 💚

I'm so sorry, Webbit! Talk about adding insult to injury. Wishing you lots of luck and wine to get through this.

How did it go? Inquiring minds want to know!

I hope everything went well.

Ugh sorry this is happening.

Sending positive thoughts that you rocked that hi vis work boot look! You are a queen!

Well it’s actually turned in a big shit fight between WH and I now. He took it upon himself (without consulting me) to ask the manager to swap her out for someone else.

I was so embarrassed when I found out, and I felt like I had to apologise to the manager.

Not sure if I am over reacting but I told my WH he was simply out of line and that unlike him I’m not an emotional immature wreck that can’t handle myself professionally. I had really gee’d myself up for it and felt it was an opportunity for me to reply stick it to them both by proving their shitty actions will not continue to affect me.

I’m actually really pissed off about it

Am I over reacting? Should I be grateful?

[This message edited by Webbit at 10:22 PM, Wednesday, January 15th]

I feel you should feel however you feel.

Your husband may have had good intentions by it but he should learn to communicate with you before acting on your behalf. He did what he thought would be best, but it’s hard to say if it was for his preservation or yours.

Personally, I would have been relieved but we all react differently and want different things.

what HO said. Communication is key. Had you two discussed this and how you felt? What did he say then?

Communication is key alright and that is where all our issues lie.

My WH does not handle communication at all well when I am angry or upset. He is getting better but if he thinks it is just 'too hard' or can't work out how to respond to me without upsetting me he will just ignore the situation all together. This is the main topic of our arguments now.

So in short he knew I was upset and concerned about going into his work to see his AP and in honesty I was taking it out badly on him. Reminding him that his selfish choices ,me now make me uncomfrotable even at my work. He then thought asking her to be swapped out would be the best course of action, even though he did not discuss this with me.

I would be so upset if my husband interfered with my career in any manner what so ever without discussing said interference with me first.

I am close friends with my boss and the head of HR. When we spend time together outside of work, WH knows there are lines he should not cross with these friends -- my work interests and issues.

I am so sorry that he did this. I hate the optics that could be sent to the AP. :(

I’m actually really pissed off about it

Am I over reacting? Should I be grateful?

Why not both?

Since he works for the other company, I can see where he felt like it was in his power to make it easier for you, but he should never have done that without talking with you first. Once he had requested it, he should have told you so that you knew what to expect. He left you hanging.

Walking in with your loins girded, expecting an opportunity to flex your bad ass muscles and finding out that that opportunity has been removed is a giant let down. It's like when you expect to wake up to an ice storm - you've stocked the fridge, you've got plenty of firewood, you're ready to tackle the challenge - and instead you wake up to a sunny day. (Y'all probably don't have that exact scenario in Australia, but you get what I mean. lol)