I was blindsided by two things lately.
I had to put down our 11 year old Pug Jeeves after a 3 day struggle and sudden health diagnosis that went south quickly. This was on Friday, and my daughter is not doing well over it. He was her constant companion and we were all there with him in the end. I let my Ex know about the dog in a text, and he gave a one sentence reply of him being a good dog. He doesn't call his daughter at all or console her in any fashion.
Later that evening my Ex calls ( We work together in our old business he owns) and lets me know he's having a "holiday gathering" at the restaurant in the small town I live in, the one I asked him not to go to with his playdates. He lives an hour from here but some of his staff live near me.
He informs me of the dinner for staff, and then casually throws it in there that "Tina might attend, but she's been sick". That did it for me. I blew up and unleased the hounds from hell. I was triggered horribly, and I was hurting from the dog, still fresh from hours before. I would have liked to attend with the people I work with, but this would have been beyond uncomfortable. What would I do there, sit and try not to look at them?
Part of my verbal assault was toward her and what a loser she is and why he's with someone like her. I told him he has commitment issues and he instantly went to how he would have married XXX but she was a snake. She was a Barbie, high maintenance woman with expensive taste. That one didn't know a real thing about him, he hid his true self well. He didn't mention Tina, wanting to marry her, which was telling. He said he decided to no longer focus on looks but personality. He's probably an upgrade for her, considering she looks like 100 miles of hard road, is 10 years younger, than both of us but looks older and was a former meth dealer/user. He stated she has a good personality, and she doesn't argue with him. He told me he'll get a gift card and I can go with my family to eat later. My daughters bf and my son work with him lately and he didn't call them to invite, but they received a group text from one of the workers.
I can tell you how it would have unfolded. I'd have sat as far away as I could. They would sit together. SHE would want to show that he's hers, and would be showing displays of affection to show me. All it would take is a sideways glance, a stupid comment or the wind to blow the wrong way and it would become a Jerry Springer episode. Some of the staff know our history, some are new and might blunder into conversation that would cause me distress.
Why is the hell would he invite his live in gf to his staff event? She lives with him, sees him daily, why couldn't she sit this ONE event out so I can attend? He knows I want no contact with her and won't attend anything with her there. At the end of our conversation he says "I sure hope your attitude improves over time". I asked if he was talking about Tina, and he said yes.
I informed him my opinion will stay the same, and I want nothing to do with her ever.
If he ever tries to fire me, because I don't want to hire her, work with her, or engage with her I will toast marshmallows on the lawsuit I'll file against him. She's part of his circus and not part of mine and she isn't my family. Not my problem, and no law says I have to be nice to her or be her friend.
**Background, he's dated and made me work with the woman he left me for and married, only knowing her 14 days after a previous affair 6 weeks prior and then he sued me and lost. I helped him divorce her, took him back for 2 years, he bailed again and she and I became friendly after 5 years. He's dated and made me work with several women, and is part of a sexual harassment from one of his workers he had an encounter with once. This is the trauma, and my income is tied to the same business.**
