Twitcher (original poster new member #85719) posted at 4:17 PM on Tuesday, January 28th, 2025
I'm meeting a financial advisor tonight to see if I can afford a place of my own after my forthcoming D from ww.
Anxiety is taking over as my credit is far from good.
I just need my own place to call my home for me and my kids when they stop.
Everything is crossed for a new beginning.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:56 PM on Tuesday, January 28th, 2025
Wishing you good luck. And even if you can’t get into a home today, you can make a roadmap with the information you get from the advisor that will help you get what you want. So whatever the outcome, take heart. You know you can get to the goal :-). You’ve proven you can do hard things!
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 1:03 PM on Wednesday, January 29th, 2025
And even if you can’t get into a home today, you can make a roadmap with the information you get from the advisor that will help you get what you want.
This. They will be helpful to help you set your long-term goal as well as seeing what you can get for now (or compromise on).
Just a thought if you run into roadblocks. My friend's credit was so bad during her D. She had the best luck with getting a rental from a private party. She said I told her straight up what was going through with my ex ruining my credit, etc. as well as the D. The owner had been through a similar thing and took a chance on her.
Twitcher (original poster new member #85719) posted at 7:26 PM on Wednesday, January 29th, 2025
Thanks all, it actually went as well as I'd hoped, I can get a small mortgage which is enough to get me started. It won't be a palace but it will be a home and a stepping stone.
I'm actually really excited and looking forward to a new start, of course it's going to be very difficult and I'm also full of anxiety.
But a place to make my own is all I need.
nothisfriend ( member #53171) posted at 8:02 PM on Wednesday, January 29th, 2025
Having my own place, somewhere that he had never crossed the threshold, was the best medicine for me. No memories, no reason for him to come by, making my own decisions, developing my own future - all those things made me stronger and move forward quicker. It gave me huge confidence and a financial foothold that has only grown since I don't have his dead weight on my shoulders. He always made me feel that my choices were keeping us poor, but amazingly I'm on my second home ownership, money in savings, and doing fun things when I want to. Funny how that happened.
Me: BS 50 (at the time) Him: WH 53 (at the time) D-Day: 10/25/15 Married: 28 years. One son, age 18 (at the time)
D final 2016 REMARRIED to a marvelous guy on 4/22/23
Twitcher (original poster new member #85719) posted at 8:36 PM on Wednesday, January 29th, 2025
Nothisfriend, that is great! Exactly where I hope to be. As much pain as my ww has caused she is very house proud and I hope to take some of that with me but with my own stamp on things. I have so many new dreams to fulfil now.
Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 2:38 AM on Thursday, January 30th, 2025
I got my very own place two years ago. You can read about my journey in my thread here. I rented forcalmost four years, sleeping in a dining area of my apartment so my girls could each have their own room. Itcwasctough but it was good for them.
When I got my very own place,something changed in me. Even my friends noticed. Yeah, it's a crappy old townhouse, but it's mine. There's something about coming home 🏡 to your own place that is so healing hoping for good things for you...
I'm an oulier in my positions.
Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.
Divorced
Twitcher (original poster new member #85719) posted at 1:01 PM on Thursday, January 30th, 2025
Thanks mate, that means a lot! I'm glad you found a path to your own home.
I've signed up to the gym today and making plans with friends again to get out and about.
Still lots of anxiety about having to explain things to people and also going to the gym alone but I'm forcing myself into these situations so I learn to deal with them easier if that makes sense.
Plus losing a few lbs will also help 😄